Jewish Burial and Mourning: Customs, Continuity and Memory

Miriam Marson

This site is one of the earliest tangible traces of Jewish life in England. Established in the 12th century on the then edge of the City of London, it served as a beit olam – a “house of eternity” – where Jews could be buried with dignity according to religious law. Though few physical remains survive, the cemetery speaks of a once-thriving community woven into the city’s fabric before their expulsion in 1290. These were traders, scholars, families – part of the city until they were not. Jewish burial practice then, as now, honoured the dead equally, without wealth or distinction.

To stand here today is to acknowledge both presence and absence – a community that helped shape London’s past, and whose story still deserves to be heard.

Known historically as the “Jews’ Garden,” this space remains a rare and powerful link to England’s early Jewish history.

The Cemetery: A Place of Memory and Identity

Jewish cemeteries aren’t just burial grounds. They are beit olam – “Houses of Eternity or Houses of Life.”  Jewish burial laws and customs are rooted in the belief that the soul continues its journey after death and that proper care for the deceased helps support that transition. They reflect the deep conviction that there will be a time of resurrection, when the dead will be reunited with the living. Once someone is buried, they stay there undisturbed. Reburial or moving graves was, and still is, avoided unless absolutely necessary.

Jewish Burial and Mourning Today

Jewish burial and mourning practices today follow rituals set centuries ago. The settings may have changed, with modern cemeteries instead of open fields, but the heart of the tradition remains: dignity and respect for the dead, care for the living, reverence for the eternal and a deep sense of communal responsibility.

Equity in Death

Jewish funeral traditions start immediately after death and burial takes place as soon as possible, usually within 24 hours, the exceptions being the Sabbath and festivals. As soon as someone dies, the community responds. The belief that every person is created in the image of God (b’tzelem Elohim, Genesis 1:27) continues to shape Jewish burial practice. The guiding principle is k’vod ha-met, honouring the dead, which ensures the body is treated with the utmost care and respect.

A team of specially trained volunteers known as the Chevra Kadisha (Burial Society), performs a final act of kindness: ritual washing of the body (taharah), dressing it in simple linen shrouds (tachrichim), and reciting prayers. This is done in silence and humility. It's one of Judaism’s greatest acts of compassion – a chesed shel emet, a kindness that cannot be repaid. It is a final gesture of equality, erasing wealth, status, or distinction. Rich or poor, everyone is buried the same in the same simple wooden coffin and shrouds.

Quick Burial, Lasting Respect

It is, and always has been, a mitzvah (sacred obligation) to bury the dead as soon as possible. This urgency comes from compassion, not haste: the soul is believed to remain near the body until burial. Delaying it prolongs its unrest.

The funeral is called a levayah, meaning “accompaniment”, as the body is accompanied to its final resting place. The coffin is placed in the centre of the prayer hall or chapel. Prayers are led by a rabbi and include Psalm 23, mostly in Hebrew, sometimes with English. The order of service is almost the same for everyone.

In recent years, it has become usual for one of the mourners to give a eulogy, if they are able to do so, as it is considered to be somewhat cathartic, and an opportunity for those assembled to learn more about the deceased’s life.

The coffin is moved to the grave, carried on an electric bier or wheeled carriage. Family and friends follow behind in procession, while the rabbi recites Psalms.

The burial itself is called k’vurah. Traditionally, the coffin is lowered into the earth and the grave filled using a shovel. It may include fine soil brought from Israel. Placing earth from the Land of Israel in the coffin symbolises this connection and is thought to bring spiritual merit and forgiveness. This may help explain why, throughout history, many Jews have wished to be buried in Israel. In the Torah, both Jacob and Joseph expressed a strong desire to be laid to rest there, and later rabbinic tradition teaches that burial in the Land of Israel can bring a degree of atonement.

After the interment, everyone returns to the prayer hall and children of the deceased recite a specific memorial prayer (kaddish) and all other official mourners recite a general kaddish. 

Orthodox Jewish law prohibits cremation and embalming. The body is not displayed, and all are buried in a plain wooden coffin — the same for everyone.

Mourning Together 

The official mourners are parents, spouse, children and siblings. 

Jewish mourning remains deeply social and structured. After burial, the family enter shiva – seven days of mourning spent at home, surrounded by community. Neighbours visit, bring food, and sit quietly with the mourners. It about is not soley about omforting words, it is also about presence. Just being there matters.

Mourners tear a piece of clothing usually just prior to the funeral service as a sign of grief called keriah. Children of the deceased tear on the left-hand side (over the heart) and all other mourners on the right-hand side. The torn garment is worn throughout the following seven day mourning period (shiva).  

Mourning Observances

Daily prayers are said. Grief is not rushed, Jewish mourning unfolds over time, with different stages – from shiva (seven days) to shloshim (thirty days) to yahrzeit (the yearly remembrance). It acknowledged that mourning doesn’t disappear; it changes shape.

Shiva After the funeral, the mourners start a period of initial mourning (shiva) which lasts for seven days. They return to one of their homes where they will spend the next few days together. When they arrive, they will be given a special meal of condolence consisting of a hardboiled egg and a bagel or roll, the round shape being symbolic of the cycle of life.

During the shiva, mourners are encouraged to stay away from work or school, do not cook and remain at home. They sit on low chairs and wear slippers or non-leather shoes, candles are lit, mirrors are covered and music is not allowed. Visitors bring food and participate in a special prayer service which is held each evening. This can be led by a Rabbi or a member of the community.

Shloshim (The first 30 days) - Mourning period for a spouse or sibling, during which time celebrations are not attended.

Shanna (The first 11 months) - The mourning period for a parent, during which time celebrations are not attended.

Yahrzeit On each anniversary of death (yahrzeit), according to the Hebrew calendar, the kaddish is recited in synagogue by the mourners. It is customary to light a yahrzeit (24 hour burning) candle at home. For the first year, yahrzeit is the date of burial, after which it is on the corresponding date of death.

Stone Setting/Unveiling It is customary for the memorial stone (Matseva) to be laid, followed by a dedication ceremony, approximately one year after death in the UK. Known as a ‘stone setting’ in London, elsewhere it is referred to as the ‘unveiling’ because a cloth covers the matsevah before the dedication takes place. After a service in the cemetery’s prayer hall everyone goes out to the graveside where further prayers and kaddish are recited.

Cohanim A Cohen is a direct patrilineal descendant of Aaron the High Priest who must not come into contact with a dead body, enter a building with a dead body, or come within 14 feet of a Jewish corpse or grave. A Cohen is to remain in a state of ritual purity and, therefore, follow at a respectful distance at the cemetery, or remain in the prayer hall. Cohanim are usually buried in the Cohen section or beside a path so that family can visit.

Visiting the Cemetery

Elul Graves can be visited whenever the cemetery is open. However, it is customary to do so during the month of Elul which leads to Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) and at the time of each yahrzeit. This is a longstanding custom rooted in the desire to reflect, remember and reconnect. During Elul in particular, Jews prepare spiritually for the High Holy Days by engaging in introspection and seeking forgiveness. Visiting the graves of loved ones or respected figures during this time is seen as a meaningful act — honouring their memory, drawing strength from their example, and asking that their merit support us in the year ahead.

These visits often include quiet prayer, the recitation of psalms, or simply spending time at the grave. Small stones may be placed on the headstone as a sign of presence and respect, a practice unique to Jewish tradition.

Tzedakah Leaving flowers/plants on a grave is not a Jewish tradition. Instead, it is a Jewish tradition to honour the dead by donating to charity. Therefore, tzedakah (charity) boxes are available at a cemetery. 

Stones After visiting, it is customary to place a small pebble on top of the grave. This is a symbolic act indicating that family and friends have not forgotten the deceased. It also may hark back to biblical days when the monument was a heap of stones. Often the weather dispersed them, and so visitors replaced them with other stones to assure that the grave was marked.

Hand washing When leaving the cemetery, respect for those who have passed away is shown by undertaking a symbolic ritual washing of one’s hands. The opportunity is also taken to reconnect to a place of life which is represented by water. This is done by pouring water in a cup three times, alternately on each hand, starting with the right hand. The biblical verse: “He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and remove the reproach of His people from the whole earth, for the Lord has spoken” (Isaiah 25:8), is recited in Hebrew or English.

Pilgrimage to Graves

Visiting the graves of loved ones and revered figures has long been part of Jewish spiritual life. This practice, sometimes viewed as a form of pilgrimage, is especially common during times of personal need or in the lead-up to the High Holy Days.

Jews may visit the graves of tzadikim (righteous individuals), such as rabbis or community leaders, to reflect, pray, and ask that their merit be remembered by God. These visits are not acts of worship, but expressions of connection — between the living and those who came before.

This tradition continues today in cemeteries across the world, where graves serve as places not only of mourning, but of learning, remembrance, and inspiration.

Continuity Through Ritual

Though much has changed, the rituals around death and mourning in Jewish tradition have remained strikingly consistent for over a thousand years. In remembering these practices, we’re not just honouring the dead. We’re keeping a living thread of identity, faith, and community intact.

Working Glossary

Glossary of Jewish Burial and Mourning Terms

Beit Olam (בית עולם)
"House of Eternity" – a traditional term for a Jewish cemetery, reflecting its sanctity and the belief that the dead remain undisturbed in perpetuity.

B’tzelem Elohim (בצלם אלוהים)
"Created in the image of God" – a biblical principle (Genesis 1:27) affirming the equal dignity of every human being, which underpins Jewish burial practices.

Chevra Kadisha (חברה קדישה)
The “Holy Society” – a group of trained volunteers responsible for preparing the deceased for burial with great care, dignity, and ritual purity.

Chesed shel emet (חסד של אמת)
"A true act of kindness" – the sacred, selfless mitzvah of caring for the dead, who can never repay the favour.

Cohen / Cohanim (כהן / כהנים)
Descendants of the biblical priestly class (Aaron). They avoid contact with the dead to maintain ritual purity and have specific burial and visitation practices.

Elul (אלול)
The final month of the Jewish year, traditionally a time of reflection and preparation before the High Holy Days. A common time to visit graves.

Kaddish (קדיש)
A mourner’s prayer praising God, recited during funerals and on anniversaries of death.

Keriah (קריעה)
The ritual tearing of a mourner’s garment before burial, symbolising grief. Children tear over the heart (left side); others tear on the right.

K’vod ha-met (כבוד המת)
"Honouring the dead" – the principle of treating the deceased with the utmost dignity and respect.

K’vurah (קבורה)
The burial – traditionally involves lowering the coffin into the ground and filling the grave, sometimes with earth from Israel.

Levayah (לווייה)
The funeral procession – literally "accompaniment" – the community accompanying the deceased to their final resting place.

Matzevah (מצבה)
A headstone or grave marker. Often engraved with Hebrew and English inscriptions, including names and traditional phrases.

Mitzvah (מצווה)
A sacred obligation or commandment. Burial is considered a mitzvah of compassion.

Shanna (שנה)
The eleven-month mourning period observed for a parent, during which public celebrations are avoided.

Shiva (שבעה)
"Seven" – the first week of mourning. Mourners stay at home, sit on low chairs, cover mirrors, and are visited by friends and community.

Shloshim (שלושים)
"Thirty" – the initial thirty-day mourning period after burial. A transitional time where mourners begin to return to regular life.

Stone Setting / Unveiling
A ceremony marking the installation of a grave’s headstone, usually held one year after burial. Known as "stone setting" in the UK and "unveiling" elsewhere.

Taharah (טהרה)
The ritual washing and purification of the body before burial, performed by the chevra kadisha.

Tachrichim (תכריכים)
Simple white linen burial shrouds that emphasise equality and humility in death.

Tzedakah (צדקה)
Charity – a way to honour the deceased by performing acts of kindness and giving to those in need, instead of bringing flowers.

Yahrzeit (יארצייט)
The anniversary of a person’s death, marked by the recitation of kaddish and lighting a memorial candle.